Posted on: Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Posted at: 1:59 AM
Hurhur.. I watched finish my Korean show liao.. now im very sad.. the ending was ok la, its a happy one, but I was not really satisfied.. everytime I see the guy cry I also feel like crying but everytime have to push the tears back in. did all the shuai guys all flock to Korea and Taiwan? Haiz.. I love the Korean songs, although I dun really understand wat its about, but whenever I listen, there is always this lingering sadness..
Im going to get an ipod or wadeva and then put all the Korean songs I like inside then can cry all I want. The only phrase that I ever caught and understood in these songs is sa-rang-hae-yo.. Haiz.. there is this sense of loss in me now, it seems as if the only thing that kept me together was the show and now, I dunno wat to do.. I think there is really something wrong with me, I have been so sensitive to tv shows and all and I could not fall aslp bcuz my mind will always picture some scene frm some show I watched earlier. I noe its not juz obsession, really, cuz I may be guy crazy but none of these have ever happen before. I think Im trying to find something in all these shows, something that can satisfy I dunno wat in me. I have been trying to explain wat im feeling to some pple cuz I really need help but when I start, they just kinda ignore or switch the convo or laugh at my obsession. Im trying hard to tell them it is not. Hmm, I think its because they think Im just facing some sort of obsession that will go away soon, cuz im always swooning over every guy I see on tv, but this time, its not, really, I dunno how to explain it, I noe its not. So in the end, I gave up trying to open up and say wat I feel, no point. I dunno how to explain aniwae. But I really need some sort of a direction, I noe talking to God might help, but I just cannot bring myself to tell him every single detail. Cuz im afraid after everything, I will still be left with a big question mark on my head.
Many pple think that I think too much, but well, I noe this may seem absurd and everything that im unable to fall aslp because of some show, but seriously, I sense that something is amiss, its not just purely teenage obsession!!! Maybe someone can just scold me to wake me up, I dun mind, after all, my behaviour is kind of abnormal. Hahas. All I noe is that I miss my Korean shows.. hahas.
