Posted on: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Posted at: 7:12 AM
I'm upset. And its weird that im only upset after a few days have passed from that incident...guess its just my own slow reaction. I don't understand why I have to be constantly reminded to talk to the 'new friends' even though sometimes I really dun have anything to talk about... I mean, I noe its necessary to let them feel welcomed and involved and not get bored or ignored, but it just seems so fake that I have to talk for the sake of talking and for the sake of making everyone feel better. It's not that I dun want to talk or that I dun bother about them but I really prefer to let things take place naturally and not thrust myself in front of someone and well...TALK... I feel really awful as well u noe, can at least spare my feelings?What's wrong with some sort of a silence? I prefer silence till I can really find something I can genuinely talk about with interest and enthusiasm rather than try to choke up some sort of a conversation just to engage them and not make them feel bored... its not that they are stupid, they can sense the awkwardness... I noe im not much of a conversationalist, but I hold on to my principle of facing each and everyone with sincerity even though I might not have anything to talk about...so I hate it when pple keeps urging me to talk to the new friends, I have my own timing and prefer to do things in a more suitable and comfortable manner... I thought its kind of natural that we do things of course to sometimes serve pple but also, I prefer to do it at my own pace and really not force myself upon them...actually, in truth, I prefer to observe and know pple through their actions and the way they talk to others. im being truthful here, no offense meant, but it might also be too much thinking on my part...
