Posted on: Thursday, January 29, 2009
Posted at: 6:54 AM
I feel that I've changed...
These few days of work has really turned myself into a boring, lifeless mess. Ting wei is not like that. I feel more Ting Wei than Belinda which is why I feel awkward when my colleagues call me Belinda. Names do matter and can affect a person's identity. I am Ting Wei and Belinda but somehow, Belinda is not me. Get what I mean?
Now I think Im starting to get why adults are so cynical and irritating. Heh.
I've got a lot of things to think about. I shall do that tml to prevent myself from zoning out at the phone which happens constantly.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Posted on: Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Posted at: 6:01 AM
Its the second week of work...getting quite mundane except for the jitters i still get whenever im behind the recep counter..
Recently the question i keep asking my dad is 'Dont you get bored or tired out with your work? I mean like 9 hours of work everyday doing almost the same thing and only like 4 or 5 hours at home and then after sleep, its back to work again...' but he will give me the standard ans that most adults would say... 'Now retrenchment ah! Cannot be picky about the job alr!'
Yes ok, I know. Sometimes, circumstances really stifle growth, stifle dreams, stifle everything. Pardon my over usage of my favourite word. But then, doesnt it also depends on how you see and do things? Even in the midst of worldwide recession, God can still provide. Come on, you want resources, who else do you go to apart from the Provider? He is not just an emotional crutch that most ppl think He is. Pastor always tell us that it is during this recession that we can truly glorify God. And i thank God for giving me a job. heh.
Young people are more naturally inclined to be idealistic. I think a lot of adults would say that. If so, I'd rather be young. No matter whether my dreams or visions may come true, at least I still have dreams and visions. It gives hope, not just wishful thinking. True, they can be castles in the air, but every architect must first build a castle in his mind before it becomes real and concrete on land. So yep, Im holding on to my castle. Hahah.
Posted on: Monday, January 12, 2009
Posted at: 6:39 AM
Today was my first day of work!
Before I went to work I was like praying and worshipping God because nothing beats Jesus by your side. And thank God i survived through the first day.
True, I fretted about what to wear (because they are like strict on attire, no jeans!), alighted at the wrong bus stop, forgot to tap my card (actually it was because I had too many things on my hands I couldnt take out my bus card), made a few mistakes during filing, was lost at answering some phone calls asking for accountants without giving me specific names... but yep, I survived and will continue to survive.
While anticipating the calls that might come in, my hands and feet were cold because a lot of 'what ifs' ran through my mind and honestly, I was afraid. Very. That 1 hour to me seemed like forever (though cliche it may seem). Everytime the phone rings, I need 3 seconds to breathe first.
But today I went home, I thanked God for letting me survive through today without making serious mistakes. I am really in this stage whereby Im really God-dependent. Without God, I think I will faint due to fear or something. And then I worshipped God again and this time, I asked the Holy Spirit to be with me throughout tml and the subsequent days. So tml, if I ans any calls, I will tell the Holy Spirit to ans with me. It may seem easy but for me who has zero job experience, its a step of faith. Plus my aunt works there, so double stress. Yep, Holy Spirit I need you. Thanks for the peace and faith You've put in my heart and the warm fuzzy feeling that encompassed me just now. You are awesome and I have to be dependent on You.
-Tomorrow will be a great day because the Holy Spirit is with me- I proclaim it!
Posted on: Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Posted at: 5:59 AM
I watched twilight today...
So now Im having my usual movie hangover...
Its okay only I guess...
Australia's better...
But for teenage romance, guess its sufficient.
Just dont have the love until want to die that feel when its supposed to be like that.
Haha
Please give me a job.
Posted on: Saturday, January 03, 2009
Posted at: 9:43 PM
Everytime I read the papers, I get impacted. And its not really in a good way. Israel against the Palestinians, foreign workers being ill treated, recession, conflict btw north and south korea etc etc. Such huge events are happening around the world and I feel so small. Comparably insignificant. Haha. Emotions just get evoked in me and I feel something. Is there any way I can help? I have a vision to help free the oppressed in the world but how much can I do? And then I get sucked into my own little problems of unemployment, PO and well, stress. Many have been telling me how slack and relaxed I can be after the As but it doesnt seem to be so. Instead, PO has become more intense, my sense of helplessness against people who do not want to employ me is increasing. I am afraid to look at my parents because there is this sense of disappointment and exasperation in their eyes. They cant understand why am I doing all these.
Yesterday Pastor talked about ETHOS, a tribal fire, a tribal emotion. And I am impacted by such unity. HOGC should not be taken for granted. In HOGC, there are archives of lifestories.So precious to pastors that they'd give up all they may have in order to give us all that God desires. I had flashbacks of the past, and I thank God for giving me all of these. Without You, I am nothing. Faith just rose up in me and I'll continue believing. No matter how tough it is and it may be, I'll still believe.
The ETHOS of the church: We use the church to build people and not people to build the church.
-There can be miracles, when you belive-
And HOGC is one to me.
