Posted on: Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Posted at: 7:15 AM
my three consecutive half-day fast is over!!! not that im too happy about it. haha. i have just gotten used to it, and then its over...dots...lol
the first and second days were quite hard...especially the second, which is like yesterday, but the weird thing is, i noe it was hard, but i forget why le...stm haha...
today is the best la! didn't feel like eating at all, and i wasnt even hungry at all like the first and second day! good! means im improving, im getting into the momentum of fasting manz...it used to be my weakest link, but i shall improve some more. haha.
i remember last week i fasted for my class, i prayed that God will help me somehow to talk and build relationships with my classmates, cuz i really dunno wat to do with my class manz..so cliquish, different cliques everywhere. but on monday, i managed to talk to the guys lei! as in just really talk, cuz last time the guys also very clique de. then now also getting easier cuz at least noe some of the guys more le ma, easier to talk to now. talking to girls is hard, seriously...i usually get irritated...haha.
yay! tml i can eat for the first time in this week in the school cafe le! but i feel quite sad lei, suddenly stop fast when i getting better at it, next week have to start all over again, but its ok, jiayou! aja aja!
Posted on: Thursday, March 22, 2007
Posted at: 7:04 AM
Suddenly, i miss chinese... can u believe it?! LOL, i think i can write quite nice in chinese. hahaha...too bad im not taking it in JC...Chinese is quite fun wat, the slackest among all the subjects. maybe because i smart la huh, have a thing for languages. LOL now not taking chinese le so can anyhow say. haha. one day im going to learn Korean manz...im serious...whether it will be of any use or not i dont really bother. just suddenly feel that we can only live one life, so might as well do what i like instead of thinking of the uses and benefits. haha
不是英雄
不读三国
若是英雄
怎么能不懂寂寞。。。
最后的两行我觉得是最伤感的。。。英雄或许能够换来一时的威风但最后留下的却只有寒冷的寂寞。。。我宁愿不当英雄。
haha! me obsessed with chinese! but i do really mean the last few lines in chinese. if u need translation, er it just means that jj lim's song, cao cao, the last two verses of the first part is the saddest because a hero can only get a moment of glory, but what that is going to be ultimately left behind is loneliness...i'd rather not be a hero... lol
haha, really bad translation, the difference in chinese and english. haiyo... i think i really can write better in chinese. the chinese version so poetic but the english translation spoils everything manz...lol, must buck up on my vocab manz!
then next time suan those english-speaking people also wont lose le!!!
Posted on: Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Posted at: 6:23 AM
today i fasted! half-day fast! unfortunately, this was one fast when i felt really going to faint. i ate breakfast in the morning before 7 some more lei...
haiz...a little disappointing. i got pray. my classmates were all eating la, and i watched them eat, but the temptation was not so bad. at least i still can drink water. yesterday i din feel like eating at all lo! today i just felt like eating a little. haha. but its not so bad for the first half of the day. its only like in mid afternoon then my stomach started rebelling like mad. practically going to cry. never felt like that before. haha, last time hungry also wont feel like crying. this time stomach a bit weird weird de, pain but not really pain also.
but good la, i go home then quickly pray and read bible for like 30 mins. i read finish esther! lol. and i kept thinking abt pastors, church, my unsaved friends so that i can carry on till 7pm. but today fasting was quite bad ah, tot like want to faint le, so useless sia. i got keep asking God for strength, but maybe never ask enough. haha, but i will try again some time this week.
nevermind! its ok! at least i feel ok now le, during dinner scarve down my food like mad. haha. maybe i kept thinking abt my stomach and food this time i fasted cuz pain ah, but i noe that my heart is real, just din noe exactly why my stomach was behaving in such a weird manner today. haha.
jiayou!
Posted on: Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Posted at: 6:57 AM
i shall feed my blog, cuz im feeling terribly overloaded with food. hope that i can transfer some of my nauseatic feeling to my blog. sorry blog.
haha, i realise that im actually quite selfish. haha, my mum keeps telling me that but i just sort of admitted it recently to myself. lol. must change. i want to have a big heart, i dont want to always dig at the small things in life, especially money, i am very particular abt money. i need to have a big heart, and i am working on it. not me alone, God is helping me to work on it too, if i allow Him.
although i still feel sianz and all that depressing feelings, i want to marvel at the blessings God has given me! i cant really count them, but let me list a few. God has given me: His everlasting love, His Son, a purpose in life, great family, great friends that are really great, great pastors that love us all, blessings financially, protection, a great church, great computer, and a chance to live life all over again!
whenever i feel like throwing tantrums or getting depressed again, i will start to count my blessings! it works.
yay! haha, i feel sad for those having a purposeless life. sad, not sorry. its just that they dont know jesus. i am getting used to sa, seriously, i m just starting to blend into their wadeva culture, and im getting a little worried, i do not want to conform to that kind of culture! i dont want to just go school like its just any normal day, i m going to change hearts there, im going to spark a revival, even if the spark is very small, God will make it BIG! AMEN!
Posted on: Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Posted at: 11:30 PM
tml is friday! got cg! haha, i want to go,that is if i can possibly get out of sch without getting into trouble. today i pon le!
if i can have faith and courage then everything will be ok le manx... yeas...
thought of a lot of ways to pon, 1st: go sch, then submit the subject combi forms then at lunch run away. but lunch ends at 12, dunno whether gate open. 2nd: go buy uniform and wear and hide in library until 12.45 then quickly run away. 3rd: tell ogl that i will just be coming school to submit the form then i will go home cuz i sick. (2nd and 3rd is sylvia suggested de) my face so pale, maybe will work, but if the teacher call my house then i die lo. plus i will feel so guilty for lying to everyone including my parents.
ogl wants us to tell him if we decide to pon, but what if they dun let then i die lo. and i dowan to give them trouble also cuz i understand they must be accountable for us ma. if i can get the courage to just dun care and just run away manz... which solution is better?
but i prayed, and i am not going to think so much, juz see what happens tml. i believe that God will make things alright. i will have faith that everything will be fine, i wont get into trouble with the sch or my parents! yes! amen.
