Posted on: Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Posted at: 11:38 PM
yes i am so happy that eugene and yx came to church! wow, God works through prayer and fasting! yay man! on saturday night i was like so tensed, cuz i dunno whether they will come or not, but at around 12 am, i just suddenly felt this excitement and happiness in my heart and i started smiling and laughing like mad cuz i sort of just got this thought that eugene and yx will come on sunday. very excited ma! so i believed, and it happened! yay... when they told me they coming ah, i was so happy and excited i din noe how to express my excitement, haha, i just jumped around like mad. lol.
i believe its not by chance that they went... lol.... sajc's 'no one is here by chance' LOL...
alright, so im going to try fasting. fasting is really my weakest link, dun understand why i must eat and eat... haha... but these two days have gone on fine, i haven been craving for food. so yay! fasting is now getting better lol!
Posted on: Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Posted at: 10:53 PM
haha, today another crappy day in school. ponned econs, slacked at chem, lit was ok.
this cannot carry on manz...
its pathetic sometimes being in such a small class of ten people. today, only half the class came. went to sit at the gallery in the morning with enya and andy. dunno why, today, we all were so emo. especially the both of them la. i just sat there and listened. i feel quite sad for andy, so emo today. haha, guess we do face the same kind of problems, just different situations. haiz...watching the people pe was depressing. big classes can play a lot of things, even if five people nvr come its still ok. our class, haiz...everyone pon pe de, cuz we also cannot play anything fun de. so small how to play? so i watch the other classes playing and bonding and then i felt sad la. haha. our class, if we are lucky, will get like full attendance once a week. but we are very mean to our teachers, esp chem.
i feel im getting naughtier..............LOL
i cannot emo! cannot be influenced by them! ahhh....wadeva lo. i think i practically everyday emo in school except dun make it so obvious only. haha. yay! i borrowed kelly clarkson, carrie underwood, 5566 and two of jj lin's cds today! woots! I AM SO HAPPY! music is the best thing created on earth manz. heaven also got music! shall go spend today and the weekends listening and rawking on! thanks enya and ryanna for lending!
and I AM IN "LOVE" again!!!!!! 2 more to my collection of husbands! yay! so long nvr go gaga over somebody on tv le. the feeling is back! the familiar feeling of sot diaoing is back! yay man! i just SOT DIAO LE!
Posted on: Monday, February 12, 2007
Posted at: 7:08 AM
yesterday's service was great! even though it was a video. haha. i mean, its the most relevant thing to me. haha. i had been having weird dreams, sometimes nightmares that aren't really nice. even though i dun show it, but i also had been very paranoid inside, always thinking that something bad would happen. feeling super insecure, super unprotected. no faith even though i have been praying and trying so hard to have. this has been driving me crazy for days.
BUT God let me know yesterday that i am so protected! outside, inside, on all sides! AMEN! now i feel so safe, so secure, so protected! I AM MARKED OUT BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS IS POWERFUL, IS GOD'S BLOOD! AMEN!
Faith Arise!
Posted on: Thursday, February 08, 2007
Posted at: 5:46 AM
I NEED FAITH! i really do! God, let faith arise in my heart to believe that You love me, You will protect me, that everything will be OK! i know i need to have FAITH! these few days im having nightmares and fearing like mad, and being paranoid as usual. NO! LORD, I NEED FAITH, I WANT FAITH. i think the stupid devil is trying to make me fear cuz when before i sleep, i will be filled with faith, and then i will have nightmare then wake up will be fearing like mad. there was once i prayed and worshipped the min i woke up until i reached school. i think i shall do that tml.
LORD, LET FAITH ARISE UP IN ME, IN MY HEART!
i believe in You, let me believe in You wholeheartedly, forever! jiayou!
Posted on: Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Posted at: 1:24 AM
yesterday had stomach pain for the whole day in school...worst is i still have to stay until 5.30 for lit. i like lit, but its always the subject that makes me go home late...haiz.. waited like 2 and a half hours for this lesson. long breaks sometimes make me sick. haha.
i miss my home! that is what i kept repeating to my cg people yesterday...so i think everyone was like...haiz...but then i gradually realised that it is not home that i miss, what i missed was my lifestyle. suddenly felt so weird sitting at the fitness corner watching my CG people play bo liao hand games to kill time. very dry inside with nothing better to do. maybe others may say, take it as a chance to interact, to do ev. but i just can't. the feeling inside is weird. i dont want to waste my time, but i really dont know what to do. and its like 80 percent of my class christian le.
so yesterday, was quite a crappy day for me. i really wanted to run back home to hide in the embrace of God instead of wasting my time since i dun really talk to my cg people de...
maybe people may think im whiny but i really feel terrible! i really wanted to do something but i dunno what. so fine lo, think me bimbo lo, i dun really care. when people feel terrible and oppressed inside, they don't really care about anything.
o level results coming in 2 days time! tml should pon school or not? see first lo... yay, something to look forward to. LOL
haha, today im ok, i will get out of this weird weird feeling de!
Posted on: Saturday, February 03, 2007
Posted at: 12:08 AM
yay...yesterday bus tour was fun. haha, especially since we dun need to get off the bus. me lazy ma...lol
alright, i have been hearing stories of people's lives, how depressed they are, how confused, how helpless they are. but i have also heard people share how all their lives were changed by the power and love of Christ! it does not mean that their lives remain any easier but its just that they have found refuge and strength from Christ their Lord. its amazing and it further pushes me to reach out to others.
i have a goal, its not really a goal, just something in my life i want to acheive. i dowan say yet. wait till i acheive le then say. haha. but life with something to work for is definitely different, i get pushed so much more in trying to attain it. haha.
i feel so protected in church, so happy, so happy in the house of God with friends and pastors and leaders. haha, now i feel a bit sian and blur blur when i go to school or go somewhere else but church. lol, but i know i must grow out of it. lets make everywhere like heart of God church! i really love and respect all my pastors, leaders and friends. its really comforting to know that amidst all the other people in the world i face, there are always people in church who love me and a God who dotes on me a lot a lot. its the thing that really keeps me going, that keeps me from falling into depression. if i am now in jc without God, without church, i would seriously have given up and died. its so hard to talk to people la and the way people respond to you, haiyo, i feel like hiding away from them! but the difference now is i have people in church who love me and a God that dotes on me a lot a lot!haha. random. i have been telling pple in sch how much i love my pastors my friends and my God, so they all know now how much i love church. my cg pple even know my church name le, cuz i declared it during gp, so my teacher also know le. haha.
