Posted on: Thursday, December 21, 2006
Posted at: 10:41 PM
Hehehx..me blogging..i should stop saying im bored..too depressing. Haha. Christmas!!! Woots! Something to look forward to! Yay! Violet and my other friend say they coming, but im worried, especially violet ah..the things she tell me she would do if there is any biblical stuff involved. Nvrm, I will have faith that God can melt the hardest of hearts and open the hearts that are so tightly shut. Faith faith faith arise!!! Haha. My heart simply goes out to those who are not saved yet, to the point that it becomes desperate at times. Hahaha.
I want to be like pastors! Especially like pastor lia! I want the genuine heart that she has for people, I want the passion that she has for God, I want her great ability to speak so well, I want..a double portion of whatever she is!!! Sounds very greedy, haha, but I know to achieve to that point, its going to take a lot a lot of effort a lot a lot of growing and a lot a lot of God! Haha, I know wat Im trying to say but its just that I dunno how to put it properly in words. Sometimes words juz destroy everything. Haha.
I have a feeling that PO is going to be more intense next year. Just have that kind of feeling, but nvrm, next year then think. There is only so little time left until the end of the year and I have another feeling that if I dun get most of my friends by this year, next year will be so much harder, what with jc commitments, studies and all that blahx.. I am always feeling something. Haha.. I am going to believe that God is in control. I have to believe or else I will juz faint nxt year when I go jc, its scary manz..
Ok la, shin really committed adultery, abit la huh. But yul is melancholic! I dunno why, the way he speaks juz kind of give me the creeps sometimes. There was once he spoke with so much passion and fiery that it sent tingles into my heart. LOL, ok, that is Lee Yul, NOT Kim Jeong Hoon. I must get it right..but I prefer Lee Shin lehx..hahaha..crazy le la..
Posted on: Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Posted at: 8:49 PM
I am feeding myself on excess garbage. The amount of junk food I dump into my body these days..haha.. I am excessively bored. My house is always running short of food because I am bored. I just pray that I will not grow fat. My money is depleting. Left only $1.50. Goodness knows how I am supposed to save up for everything. Offering on sunday, seoul garden, Christmas offering, presents for other ppl etc etc. I am sick at the thought of money.
Haha, forget all these stuff manz. Somebody please tell me wat u all did at vbs! Perhaps the others will grow to a whole new level as pastor said..i dunno wat will happen to me man. Haha.
2corinthians4:8-9
we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
I must repeat this to myself everyday, I am afraid that I will be too bored to bother, I am afraid that I will lose the connection with God. I really dunno wat to do. Night time is worse. There is only the tv. Slacking is really tiring! Laze here, laze there, its really really tiring and maddening! My parents are juz plain obstinate. They think its only right for me to stay at home. They think I come home later than ever on Sundays now. But they dunno that its driving me crazy! Who would want to come home early on the day they can ever go out when they know they would have to face the long long week ahead once they step into the house? Huh? I feel like tearing my hair out, juz like all the comic pple in comic books. Cannot ah, my hair too pretty le. Ah hahaha. And my parents are nice de la, sometimes.
Nvrm, I will pray more, I will worship more, I will push myself to pray and read the bible no matter how tired I may feel. At least, I hope to be more anointed in my worshipping and praying. And God, I want to know You more, to get first-hand revelation from You when I read the bible. Sometimes I really feel like crying Lord. I hoped to grow so much during the hols, I wanted to try out more things during the hols, yet..im wasting time. No matter how many times I try to tell pple and how well I can describe my feelings, it is only You who can fully understand. I am afraid that I will get used to this feeling of sianzness that I will not bother to fight and go for You. I miss everyone, although I can see them on Sunday. I miss everyone..
But I will not give up..
Posted on: Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Posted at: 5:46 AM
Hihi! So long never update le, so here I am feeding my blog! Dear bloggie, are u hungry? I think I am. Haha. Drifting off to the land of boredom.. it aint any fun. I am bored to tears. Yesterday was worse. Walking around my house doing nth. Looking at the time and following the schedule of vbs, wondering wat they all are doing in church. If this continues on, im going mad. Madness is no good. Luckily tml I have something to look forward to. 24! Lol. Hehehx, luckily today got manga can read! I spent like 2hrs finishing the comic so ya. Haha. Then I started playing with my barbie dolls, trying to mix and match all their clothes, creating weird fashions to give my dolls a whole new outlook. Haha. That was how bored I was. So my whole room is a mess with extra small clothes, shoes and handbags strewn all over the floor. Im going mad, at least I had something to do today. I want to watch goong! I really really want to watch goong! Im seriously going mad le! I want to cry le. Why am I so broke? Got money I can buy for myself le. Ok la, actually I wont. Im watching lee joon ki's My Girl now but its finishing! Haix. Im starting to fall in love with my husband again, he cry eh!
Ok, this is it. This is my really boring life, dun have anything to write le. Well actually I have been thinking about how much I am willing to sacrifice for God, money can, but food cannot. That is why I nvr fast. Im trying to work on that. Im a pig, I will grow fat since I always eat when im bored. I shall learn more abt fasting too before I really fast so that I know wat im fasting for. Yeps.
2corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed ,perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.
One of my favourite verses. Someone gave it to me when I was facing PO that time and it had remained in my mind ever since. This was the only verse that ever stuck the first time I saw it. We are not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed because we have the Almighty with us! Thank You God.
